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Holiday Leftovers
Holiday Leftovers
Jim Meadows
Published by Swampy Meadows
12-27-2008
Holiday Leftovers

BEVERLY HILLS (MI) -- Time to clean out the end of the year odds and ends:

-- I was considering whether to try and go see Detroit Finney featuring BG recruiting target Isaiah Sykes vs. Devin Searcy’s alma mater Romulus tonight, until I read this from Steve Bell on MLive.com:

15. Detroit Finney 3-1 (No. 6)

“Young team took a divisional loss to Southeastern as it awaits the second-semester arrival of Isaiah Sykes ... or as City Hoops might call him, Isaiah Psyches. The Highlanders may end up a top 10 team, but probably won't make the PSL playoffs.”

Never mind.

-- I had never heard of this kid until I saw this on Jamal Richards’ WeFlyHighBallers blog:

“WOTS is that Kyle Vinales 6'1 CG North Farmington High is a stellar Combo Guard prospect and plenty of college programs have taken note. I'm not sure if he has any offers but Buffalo, Detroit, Oakland, Duquesne, and Dayton are all interested. Vinales is averaging 33.5 points a game in this early season and is proving to everyone that he deserves to be mentioned in the likes of Keith Appling and Isaiah Sykes.”

Here is a link to the entire blog:

http://www.freewebs.com/michiganballers/apps/blog/

-- As always. Jody Demling of the Louisville Courier Journal has the best ear to the ground on KY recruits. Here’s what he says about BG target Aaron Cosby’s 1st game for Jeffersontown HS after sitting out due to transfer rules:

“Aaron Cosby left Manual just before the King of the Bluegrass Holiday Classic last season and tonight -- in his first game eligible for Jeffersontown -- the junior drops a career-high 25 on his former school. Hollywood couldn't script it any better.”

Linky goodness: http://www.courier-journal.com/blogs/demling/blog.html

If you scroll down, you’ll see a picture of Cosby, as well as blurbs on other UD KY prospects like Josh Sewell, Vee Sanford and Jacob Jenkins.

-- Here are some of the better entries in the annual FARK.com headlines contest from the months of January thru June:

Court says Mom can't sue over circumcision. Thanks for the tip

Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY

Last German WWI veteran dies at age 107. WE WIN

Looking for some thrills? The occasionally interactive big cat exhibit at the San Francisco zoo just reopened

Man killed in Columbia house explosion. No word on if he'll still get 12 CDs for 1¢

Chef Paul Prudhomme has bullet bounce off him. I shot the chef, but I did not shoot the maître d'

There's now a lip gloss on the market some say will help you lose weight. Must be made with superglue

The man who wrote "Roget's Thesaurus" is written up in a book. He is agape, agog, alarmed, amazed, anxious, appalled, astonished, astounded, and awestruck by this development

Spitzer will pull out within the hour, or around $4900 from now

Woman who had phone sex with a man claims he raped her... over the phone. Man says that is impossible, he doesn't even work for Verizon

Man struggling to breathe performs tracheotomy on himself with steak knife rather than waiting for help to arrive. Oh, well -- suture self

Goldfish trained to play soccer, pretend to float upside-down at slightest contact with other players

Disagreements shake Djibouti. Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake Djibouti

College: $40,000. Passing the bar: $30,000. Knowing the specific statute that gives you authority to issue a police officer a parking ticket: priceless

Buried Chinese miner survives for a week by eating toilet paper and drinking his own urine. He'd be ****ed if he wasn't so wiped out

Bee Gees threaten to reunite, despite the fact that their aging fans are no longer able to hear the frequency range in which they sing


–- Got this list in an email from my big sis Lois…some pretty funny stuff. It’s the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners are:

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

-- I caught part of the 4 hour epic Tom Petty biography “Runnin’ Down A Dream” by Peter Bogdanovich on the Sundance Channel the other night. Man, what a great story. Especially compelling was Petty’s successful suit against MCA Records and the making of the killer album “**** the Torpedoes.” Petty and the Heartbreakers are the kind of band you totally take for granted, until you start enumerating all of the memorable tunes that they have produced. It’ll be on again on Monday 12/29 at 5:00PM and it is definitely worth watching.

-- Bad electronics week for yours truly: my Moto Q cell phone froze on the open screen; my work laptop caught the Spyware Guard 2008 virus and just for good measure, Mrs. Swampy’s laptop totally lost access to Internet Explorer while I happened to be using it. Verizon replaced the Q for free; Malwarebytes got rid of the virus and a system restore got IE back up and running. When it comes to gizmos, I think I am cursed.

-- I love old cars and really admire Chip Foose’s work. Take a gander at this swooping beauty he created:

http://www.autabuy.com/Vehicles/Deta...&Model=STUDEBA

-- And finally from my brother-in-law Tom Curry in Erie, in answer to the age-old question: yes, indeed, they do:

http://www.fototime.com/6837DB6A4B243D2/standard.jpg

That’s it “From the Swamp.”
You can email me at: swampy@udpride.com
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  #1  
By Swampy Meadows on 01-01-2009, 03:47 PM
And the winners of the FARK.com headline contest are:

Headline of the Year: Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY

Runner-up: "Spam King" sentenced to 47 months of having his inbox filled with unsolicited male

Sports tab Headline of the Year: After hours of squealing and grunting, a sweaty Maria Sharapova finally licks Ana Ivanovic Down Under

Runner-up: One armed swimmer nearly completes swimming the English Channel until someone waves at him

Geek tab Headline of the Year: Scientists create rubber that repairs itself. Your parents wish they had had this

Runner-up: Three steps to get drugs out of your drinking water. Cool, but what do we do with all the leftover water?

Showbiz tab Headline of the Year: George Takei to marry long term partner. Wedding planner sets phasers to stunning

Runner-up: Queen guitarist Brian May completes his doctoral thesis in astrophysics, proving link between rotation of the Earth and human females with ample gluteal regions

Politics tab Headline of the Year: "Obama tax plan will retard growth, job creation" as opposed to Palin's plan of job growth and retard creation

Runner-up: Alaska's black population says he has felt ignored by Palin

Business tab Headline of the Year: Toyota recalls 90,000 of 90,001 Highlanders for obvious reason

Runner-up: Blind CEO first to lead blind organization. The only things he can't do are A) drive a car, B) fly an airplane and C)

Pun/Wordplay Headline of the Year: Harsh winters drive away all but heartiest birds. Won't somebody please think of the chilled wren?

Runner-up: Man dies in monkey attack as primates tear him into rhesus pieces
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